Mr. Rogers wouldn't hate his tires

This morning I drove past the soon-to-be furniture store I dreamed I was constructing. There was a hand-made sign (spray paint on plywood) advertizing their need for workers. This is too good to be true. Maybe they need a plasterer.

Later in my drive, I was behind a very dirty car. That may sound judgemental, and I'd hate to throw stones and all that, but I was not living in a glass house this morning. I had just come from the car wash. Wild Wednesday, you know.

Anyway, someone (the owner of the car, presumably) had written several phrases in the thick layer of dust on the back of this car. The back window said "F*ck Tires," and some nonsense about "Crown B*tch" was written across the trunk (Google just taught me that Crown is a brand of speakers).

I didn't get why tires were so offensive until I pulled up next to them and saw that the car had a donut on the front. I guess tires were a sore spot.

The funny part is that this car also had a bumper sticker that said "What would Mr. Rogers do?" I don't know him personally, but I feel quite certain that he would not scrawl profanity across the back of his car. And he would go to the car wash.

Is it something I ate?

Two dream tidbits from the weekend -

I was taking a standardized test, like the SAT. This might seem weird since I haven't had to take one of those for years, but I do teach test prep courses, so it's not that strange.

I had arrived late to the test, so I was already a little stressed. I hadn't really missed anything, though, because everyone was filling out the name, address, etc. page. I sat down in my desk, searched frantically for my pencils (you must have two #2 pencils, you know), and started filling out my form.

The stress only increased when I realized I didn't know the answer to the first question. You really shouldn't have a problem with the questions on the personal information page. This wasn't looking good.

The question? Hat size.


Moose have toes. Not only do they have toes, they grow additional toes as they age. Moose are born with three toes on each foot, and they grow more (I think in groups of two or three) throughout their life, ending up with eleven on each foot as adults.

Now you know.

Creepy-crawly Friday

I was sitting at a computer today. This computer is for community-use, not mine. This will be important to you in a moment.

As I was clicking away, I saw something shoot across the desk toward me from the direction of the CPU. My reaction was to push my chair back quickly. Luckily, I was in a chair with wheels on a hard floor. If I had been sitting in a non-wheeled chair or if the floor had provided more friction, I would likely have ended up on my back with my feet in the air.

So what was it? A spider the size of a dinner plate. I may be exaggerating, but it was huge. The size of a post-it at least. (That comparison is for G. A couple of weeks ago we heard a local weather guy describe hail as being the size of a penny. We thought maybe he should compare it to something actually spherical rather than just round. So while the spider was round, I thought it would be helpful to compare it to something square. Also, I'm not familiar with any coin large enough for comparison.)

I'm not a fan of spider-killing. Isn't it bad luck or something? Well, I went in the other room to get a big cup and a piece of paper to relocate it outside, and when I came back, it was gone. I finally located it under the CPU and chased it around for a little while. Under the desk, behind the monitor, under the desk, on top of the desk, where'd it go?

I gave up and finished my work on the computer. Before I left, I looked under the CPU, and there it was again. Again, I chased it. Again, it eluded me. A coworker later told me the spider was gone. I don't think that means it was relocated.

My desk is messy, but at least it doesn't have spiders. Or if it does have spiders, at least they stick to themselves.

In case this job doesn't work out

I'm still recovering from my cold. This is a really slow-moving illness. I haven't had any of the annoying body aches, but I'm ready to be done with all this nose-blowing.

The last dream I had before I woke up this morning (it was actually in the five minutes between the first and second alarm - my sleep skills are highly amazing) involved my work on a local construction project. The building in my dream is a real building in town. It will be a furniture store. (They heard how much we've been spending at Home Depot and thought we might want to be able to throw some money their way once we're ready for furniture. Good bet.) I pass this building every now and then, and evidently it has become embedded in my subconscious because there it was in my dream.

I was putting some plaster up on the walls in my dream. I'm not sure if I worked construction full time or if this was a sort-of freelance job. It seemed that I knew what I was doing. We (I was working with a large man who wore overalls) would reach down into one of the buckets or bowls of plaster at our feet. We would scoop up the plaster, which looked like dark grey pancake batter, with our bare hands and smear it on the carpet that had been applied to the walls. It was important to make sure the pattern of the carpet (red and black swirls, by the way) wasn't visible through the plaster. That's how you know the plaster is thick enough.

That's all there is to it. G will be so happy that I've learned another building skill.

A Dreamy Post

I've been under the weather the past couple of days. G had a cold last week, and he was kind enough to share it with me. I'm getting better little by little.

I'm an excellent sleeper, but my skills have been challenged the past few nights due to congestion and restlessness. The upside of this is that I've been having (or remembering) more dreams.

Last night I remembered something that had happened that would make a great story for my blog, so I made a mental note of it. Unfortunately, I was sleeping when I made this mental note, and also, the thing I was remembering never actually happened. I was remembering a previous dream in that dream.

So, no great story today. I'll see what I can dream up tonight.

The car wash

We have a new car wash in town. It's one of those drive-through ones where you don't have to even get out of the car unless you want to vacuum (which is free, by the way). It's pretty fancy. The most exciting part about this car wash is that they have Wild Wednesday*, when a basic car wash is only $3. What a deal!

I had never been to a drive-through car wash until a couple months ago when G and I took my car through. I was excited about finally having the experience of sitting in my car while it was being washed, and it lived up to the hype.

I have visited the car wash twice on my own now, and I must say that the experience has lost some of its glamour. In fact, I don't like it at all. As I was sitting in line waiting my turn yesterday (Wild Wednesday is popular, as you might expect), I realized my stomach was all in knots. I'm not usually a very nervous person.

My least favorite part of the car wash is when I can't see out of the windows because of the soap and/or cleaning cloths. Even though I know the conveyor is pushing me along at the same speed as it is every other car, I have the feeling that I am going to run into the car in front of me. I also get a little claustrophobic.

The good part about the car wash is that it's quick. My claustrophobia and general discomfort only last a couple of minutes, and then I get to enjoy my nice clean car. It's a good reward.

* Not to be confused with Wacky Wednesday. In college, Wacky Wednesday was the day you could get a large pizza (with one topping maybe, although that seems too good to be true) from Hungry Howies for $3.99. Or was it $2.99? It was ridiculously cheap. And delicious.

You don't say

Writing about the aquarium the other day reminded me of a funny story.

A few years ago, I took my neice M to an aquarium. As a side note, she insisted on wearing a pink leotard that had an attached skirt, but it was cold outside. No problem. She wore jeans over the leotard, with the skirt out over the jeans.

Anyway, one of the exhibits at the aquarium was a touch tank that had various animals in it - crabs, shells, small fish. There was a high school volunteer at the tank to offer guidance and information on the creatures.

M and I were the only ones at the tank, so we had the volunteer all to ourselves. Which meant that I had to try very hard not to laugh out loud when she talked about how cool the anemones were. It wasn't that I didn't agree with her about their coolness. It was her pronunciation.

Instead of a-NEM-o-nee, she said AN-i-moan.

I say it like that in my head now. It makes me smile.

Not just for clotheslines anymore

The last time I saw Florida Aunt P and Granny (I don't think I need to be anonymous here, right? Lots of people have a Granny. Plus, I already have a G.), they were gearing up for a new creative endeavor. I am embarrassed to say that I can't remember what it's called. Oh, wait, I remember - Fantasy Animals. These are small animals (of modeling clay, for instance) that are, as you would imagine, not altogether realistic. So maybe a polka-dotted cat wearing high heels and angel wings. You get the picture.

I saw this today and immediately thought of my family. (If you don't have the patience to click on the link, it's a series of pictures of clothespin people - figures made with clothespins.) My favorite is this one.

My mom and I (and other members of my family) used to make clothespin angels, but I must say that we were not nearly as creative. I sense a new project coming on.

Girls weekend, anyone?

Agorophobia

G and I went to Atlanta last weekend. I had a work thing there, and G tagged along. For the fun portion of our visit, we visited the Georgia Aquarium and IKEA. Both were quite amazing.

The Georgia Aquarium opened recently, and it's the largest aquarium in the world. It was mighty impressive. It was jam-packed with people - half could have left, and it still would have been crowded. This is especially noteworthy since they limit the number of tickets they sell per day.

It was neat to see all the animals there (including otters, reef fish, jellyfish, sea lions, beluga whales, and whale sharks). The exhibits were beautiful. Our only complaint was the lack of education. There were some tanks where guests could touch animals (shrimp, anemones, horseshoe crabs), and there were staff at each exhibit to answer questions, but that was just about the extent of the education.

I would recommend the aquarium for its asthetic beauty alone, but I would also recommend going on a weekday. Maybe it would be less crowded.

So then, IKEA. We had never been to an IKEA before. Someone told G to be sure to visit when we were in Atlanta since we are renovating our house and might find some great stuff there. So I dutifully visited the website to do some research. They seemed to have some things we might be interested in, so we put it on our list for Atlanta.

IKEA is quite a phenomenon. This place is huge. It has a day care (which looked very fun), a snack bar, and a restaurant all inside. And the whole store was packed with people! Unbelievable.

We had a limited amount of time to spend at the store, and I'm kind of glad, because it is a place you could wander around for days. The organization of the store leads you on a path through all the departments. The upside is that you don't have to worry about missing anything. The downside is that it is almost impossible to take shortcuts.

The result of the path and all the people made me feel a little like cattle. And guess what happens at the end of the cattle herding? They milk you. For your money. Hee hee. I couldn't resist.

Anyway, we bought a couple of small items, and we will likely order some more stuff online. It was a fun store.

Thinking back, we probably should have skipped the IKEA visit and just ordered everything online. We probably spent more on the cab than we would have on shipping. But I guess we paid for the experience. It was worth it.

Tiny peas

I like vegetables. Of course, fresh is best, but I always like to keep my freezer stocked, too. As with many products, I know what I like when it comes to frozen veggies. I usually buy corn and peas in big bags (Publix brand), and spinach, lima beans, and broccoli in boxes (Green Giant).

The Green Giant boxes are a bit of a splurge, but so worth it. The veggies come in a bag inside the box, designed to be cooked in the microwave. I don't know how they do it, but those veggies are the most flavorful! Hence the splurging.

Sometimes the Green Giant boxes are on sale, and then I stock up. The last time this happened, they were really cheap, so I branched out of my usual selections and got a box of peas, too.

I thought the Green Giant peas would be similar to bagged peas. But I guess I hadn't noticed they were "baby" peas. Or if I noticed, I didn't realize this would be a whole new culinary experience.

Have you had these? They're so tiny! I couldn't stop talking about them over dinner. They are so much tinier than regular green peas that it's like eating a different food. Amazing. That said, I'm not sure I like them better. I think I'd have to get used to them.

If they can harvest the peas that early (I assume that the peas are just harvested earlier and not bred for smaller size. If not, then they shouldn't really call them babies.), then why not harvest them even earlier. I'm envisioning peas the size of the orange flying fish eggs on top of sushi. Now wouldn't that be a taste sensation?

The problem would be the name. If they were younger than baby peas, then I guess they would be fetal peas or embryonic peas. That doesn't sound as appetizing. I'll keep working on it.

At least you know we're clean

You've heard about my obsession with a particular brand of conditioner. Which, by the way, I have still been unable to locate. The new conditioner has proven to be adequate, so I am not quite so worried about it right now. I will still buy a cart-full when I find the old brand.

I'm not the only one with a toiletry fixation in the family, however. That's right, G is a little crazy, too. Only his obsession comes in the form of soap. He loves a new bar of soap. Of course, it can't be any soap. The rule is that the soap must be a color - and white is not a color.

The color issue is sometimes difficult to overcome since soap is typically not sold in transparent packaging. However, recently, his favorite soap has been Coast, which is definitely not white. You can tell just by the scent. There is no way a bar of soap that you can smell in the next county could possibly be just plain white. Of course, it also helps that the package actually has the word "blue" on it.

The last time we were at Publix together, G got some new soap. This is not where we usually buy soap. As I was picking out my conditioner (and agonizing over the decision), he was perusing the soap on the other side of the aisle. I put my conditioner in the basket, and he deposited his Safeguard.

Safeguard? What's the attraction? I'm not sure, but he was really excited about it. He couldn't wait to use it. He replaced his remaining sliver of Coast with Safeguard as soon as we got home.

Are you ready for the kicker? G's new favorite soap is white!

I don't even want to think about all the times I came home with great-smelling new soap only to be denied because it turned out to be white. And now he buys a soap that he knows is white on purpose. I just don't get it.

Oh well, I guess no one really understands insanity.

Putters and pancakes

So,the downside of blogging at work (and not having computer/internet at home) is that when I'm really busy at work, I don't get to blog. But here I am, so don't lose hope. I have a deadline coming up, and after that, the posts should pick back up.

Last weekend G and I went to Myrtle Beach, SC, for a conference (for G's work). The upside was that I got to just hang out while G was attending sessions and schmoozing. The downside was that the weather was very unpleasant. We watched a beautiful sunrise over the ocean from our room on Monday morning. By the time I got out of the shower, the sun had been swallowed up by clouds, and we didn't see the sun again until we got to Georgia.

The actual conference was a little bit north of Myrtle Beach, so while G was busy, I drove down to Myrtle Beach proper to check it out. It was very touristy (as I had expected), and not somewhere that I would like to vacation in the future. Although, I bet it would have looked like more fun if it was warm and sunny.

It seemed like there were only maybe five or six people that owned restaurants. This isn't to say that there weren't many restaurants - there were tons. But they were all the same ones. And not national chains. I must have seen six Calabash seafood restaurants in six miles.

However, it seems that the most popular businesses in Myrtle Beach are miniature golf and pancake houses. I didn't try to count them, but if I had, I'm sure I would have lost track. So many.

Miniature golf is understandable. Tourists like mini-golf. And each course has it's own theme, which encourages more mini-golf playing, I'm sure. I saw a Captain Hook course (it had a cave in the shape of a skull - you walked in the mouth), a course that was inside a giant pyramid, and my personal favorite, Minotaur Golf. The name of this last one is very clever, but I think they missed the boat a little. You might expect the course's theme to revolve around Greek mythology, but no, it was more dinosaur-ish. That's okay. I would go just for the name anyway. Plus, I really like dinosaurs.

What about the pancake houses? How many pancakes do tourists eat? Is that what tired families want? Pancakes? The only pancake house I'm familiar with is IHOP, and you might expect to see one of those in this pancake haven. But no, I didn't see any IHOPs. Hmmm. I almost wanted to eat at one to see what the hype was all about (there wasn't really any hype), but I don't really like pancakes all that much. They're just too light and fluffy. I like my pancakes dense, and that's not popular, I don't think.

Creatures of habit

Yesterday, I used up the last of the conditioner in the shower. Maybe this doesn't seem like a big deal to you. Maybe you don't have curly hair.

Actually, I wasn't worried either. I've been using the same conditioner for I can't even remember how many years. At least since high school, maybe even before that. I used to use the name brand expensive kind, but then Suave started making a rip-off that was just as good for a small fraction of the cost. So that's been my brand. Since I'm somewhat (totally) dependent on this product for my morning sanity, I usually have one or two extra bottles in the cabinet.

So no problem. Except there wasn't any in the cabinet. No conditioner anywhere!

G was planning to go to Target yesterday, so I showed him the empty bottle and asked him to get some for me. He went to Target, but they didn't have it. (To illustrate how important conditioner is in my curly life, and how much he knows it, I'll tell you that G not only emailed this fact to me, but he also called to make sure I got the message.)

We have been living in a house without groceries for several days (blame that on too much work), so last night we went to the store for groceries and for conditioner, not necessarily in order of importance.

G drove us to Publix, but not before getting in the turn lane for Home Depot, which is on the way. I asked him what we needed (notice that I was sure we needed to go, I just didn't know why). He then realized he was just navigating on auto-pilot, which evidently always ends up at Home Depot. (By the way, we started working on the house last weekend - we demo'ed the closet that will become our half bathroom and put up drywall.)

But guess what? Publix didn't have my conditioner either! I bought another Suave product. I used it this morning, and it seemed to go okay. I'm not loving my hair, but I think that has more to do with needing a haircut than with the conditioner switch.

I'll keep looking for my old conditioner. And when I find it, I'll buy the whole inventory. G will have to build a new cabinet for my stockpile. Add that to the list of home renovations.

Trivia night

I've been neglectful with the posting lately, huh? It sucks when work gets in the way of blogging. What's up with that?

We didn't have volleyball this week. So instead, two of my teammates and I went to trivia night at a local restaurant. In case you're unfamiliar with this activity, I'll give a brief explanation (I don't know if all trivia nights are just like this one, but I bet they're all pretty similar). There are six rounds of three questions each. Within each round, you assign a point value to each question (1, 3, or 5 points for the first three rounds and 2, 4, or 6 points for the last three rounds). The catch is that you can only use each point value once per round. Then there are . . . OK, wait.

I'm feel like I'm kind of babbling and maybe you don't care about all these details. Bottom line - some guy asks a bunch of questions and teams of people turn in answers. Whoever gets the most points wins.

So our team of three was the smallest team, and we were also the youngest by about 20 years or so. Obviously, our team size was a disadvantage - not as many brains to pick. Not so obviously, our age was also a disadvantage - because the questions were skewed toward what is probably the usual average age at this particular establishment (i.e. - What year did "Unchained Melody" hit the charts?).

Despite our disadvantages, the first half went well - we were up in the top few out of eleven teams. We were feeling pretty good.

Then the second half . . .
We missed all the round 4 questions. Rounds 5 and 6 were a little better, but we weren't feeling so confident anymore.

Then came the last question. This question had four parts and you had to get all four correct to get the points. And you could wager up to 16 points. Well, we weren't looking so hot at this point, so we decided we needed to wager all 16 points (and get it right) to be in the running.

So we wagered 16 points, we didn't get it right, and we ended up finishing in last place. It was a little demoralizing.

The good news is that I now know that the Shenandoah River empties into the Potomac River at Harper's Ferry.

First mate

G is in charge of all things boat in our family. He loads it up, launches it, drives it, unlaunches it, and cleans it. That's not to say that I don't help. But he's the captain, and I'm the first mate.

One afternoon during our vacation, G went to get ice for our cooler while I launched the boat. I successfully backed the boat down the ramp, got the boat off the trailer, tied the boat to the dock, pulled the trailer out of the water, and parked the truck all by my lonesome! You're impressed, aren't you? I was too.

We went out snorkeling and cruising, and when we got back to the marina, I went to get the truck while G straightened the boat up a little. A man had been admiring our boat as we pulled up (we get that a lot - it's a little aluminum boat with an old Evinrude motor - classic). I backed the trailer into the water and stepped out of the truck. The man looked at me and said, "You backed that trailer in that straight?" (It was perfectly straight, if I do say so myself.)

"Yes, I did," I replied as I walked to the trailer. G drove the boat onto the trailer, and I attached the cable that holds the boat on. As I was cranking the boat the rest of the way up, the man turned to his wife and said, "Why can't you do that?" (Likely because their boat is much larger than ours. Our boat is so small that if it's on the trailer crooked, I can just pull on the back to adjust it.)

Now I just need to work up to starting the motor on my own, and I'm in business. I think I need to lift some weights.

Tracking cats

As promised, the story of the elusive feral cat.

Toward the end of the program, the topic veered from the ranger's childhood in Cuba to her experiences working at Bahia Honda State Park. She discussed the joys of being on call 24 hours a day - fixing water leaks, helping people who can't follow directions open the gate to the park, and repairing electrical connections. You'll recall that The Man No One Agrees With used this last topic to bring up hurricane damage in the park.

That led to the ranger commenting that the animals in the park weathered the hurricane very well - including butterflies (amazing!) and feral cats. The ranger said these cats are very smart - they will approach people to procure handouts of food, but they won't visit a trap. She joked that they must have learned to read.

One woman in the audience indicated that she might have seen evidence of one of these cats. She was in the campground and saw some tracks. She initially thought they were fox tracks because they were side-by-side instead of in a line. (Or the other way around, I can't remember. I tried to educate myself about the orientation of canine prints vs. feline prints, but the internet wouldn't tell me. I found lots of information about the difference in the shapes of the prints, but not whether they were side-by-side or in a line. It leads me to think that's not a reliable identifier, but what do I know?)

So she thinks she's following fox tracks. "Then I saw a tiny, tiny paw print." This part of the story was puzzling to me. What was she following before if this tiny paw print is the first she's seen? And the tiny, tiny brings to mind a story I liked as a kid.

Anyway, this tiny paw print somehow convinced this woman that it was a cat, not a fox. And now with this additional information from the ranger, this woman has realized that it wasn't just an ordinary cat, but a feral cat. She was quite impressed with herself and her tracking abilities.

G and I were quite amused because we, too, were convinced that there were feral cats in the park. Just that very night we had heard meowing from the bushes. And last time we camped there, we had actually shared our campsite with a cat.

A feral cat.

Crazy Camper #1

G and I camped at Bahia Honda State Park on our trip to the Keys. It's one of our favorite places to stay. It has great beaches, a convenient boat ramp, good snorkeling grounds, and, because it's a State Park, it's dirt cheap. The one problem is that it's sometimes hard to get a site (maybe more on that another day).

So anyway, G and I went to a ranger program on Friday night. They have programs every Friday on various topics. This one was given by a ranger who grew up in Cuba. She talked about what it was like and showed pictures of her family and where she lived. It was quite entertaining.

There were about 15 people at the program. Since it took place after the park had closed, only people camping at the park could attend. As the ranger's presentation came to an end, the questions began ranging in topic. G and I kind of assume that fellow campers have some degree of general knowledge and appreciation for the outdoors. I mean, you're camping. But evidently, we were wrong.

Exhibit A: The Man No One Agrees With
This man had already asked several borderline-odd questions about Cuba during the presentation. So we had our eye on him. He handily steered the conversation from midnight electrical repairs to Hurricane Wilma with the clever segue, "Speaking of electricity . . ."

He was shocked that there had been damage to Bahia Honda from Hurricane Wilma. Evidently, no one (and by this, he meant the news) had told him. He was very concerned about several downed trees he'd seen in the park.

Despite the fact that there was very little damage to buildings here, he seemed to be much more concerned about the damage in Bahia Honda than in New Orleans. "I don't think New Orleans really got hit that bad. It was the levees that did it."

Really? And Hurricane Katrina didn't have anything to do with that?

As a side note, he also postulated that exotic plants might be overtaking the native species due to "the lack of soil here." He didn't elaborate much on his reasoning. Or maybe he did. We just didn't hear him because we left.

Tomorrow - the elusive feral cat.

Vacation

G and I went down to the Keys over the weekend. For many years, we made an annual pilgrimage to soak up some pre-summer warmth, enjoy the tropical surroundings, and most importantly (at least according to G), catch some lobsters. Last year our Keys trip was replaced by a trip to Costa Rica (a nice trade, by the way). So we were ready for our Keys (or lobster-hunting) fix.

We had a great time. The weather was nice, and the water was the clearest we've ever seen it. We saw lots of great underwater life - corals, tropical fish, stingrays, lobsters - and also lots of birds, including two bald eagles.

Tomorrow I will tell you about the crazy people we encountered at a Bahia Honda State Park evening program.

The midnight opossum

Last night G and I didn't sleep very well. I'm not sure if I wasn't sleeping well or not, but since G wasn't, I wasn't either. He got up for a while in the middle of the night and watched TV (I missed a funny Conan O'Brien, by the way).

Shortly after he came back to bed, he alerted me to the fact that there was a possum (an opposum?) outside gathering stuff for its nest. He asked me if I wanted to see it. I try to be very honest, so I said no thank you.

Then it came out that the opossum was picking up palm fronds and dragging them away with its tail. Now that was something worth seeing.

So I opened my eyes, saw the palm frond-dragging opossum, and then rolled over and went back to sleep.

P.S. - My posts have been very sporadic lately. They will continue to be that way at least until next week. Don't send mean thoughts at me, Georgia Aunt P.

Go ahead, try it. It's simplistic!

A man came to work today to set up a new piece of equipment and give us a demonstration on its use. He was very nice and seemed knowledgable about the product and its associated software.

However, he kept using the word "simplistic" instead of "simple." And "functionality" instead of "function." He described several functionalities of the software that were simplistic. And emphasized how we could do certain things very simplistically.

So not only was he insulting his product, but he was also insulting us. I didn't take offense, I just took notes and wrote about it on the internet.